Pedes vallis viridis (The Glasgow Pedestrian)

The Glasgow pedestrian (pedes vallis viridis) is a very odd beast. Its actions go against Darwinian evolution. Its behaviour so at odds with its environment that it should have caused its own extinction. But some how it survives.

I cite two specific examples that I’ve witnessed in recent weeks.

The first was in the evening. A car was driving down St. Vincent Street and this old guy with his head down looking determinedly at the ground stormed into the road. The poor driver didn’t have anywhere to go. He hit the brakes but too late. The pedestrian was hit and he got catapulted into the air.

The driver was naturally very shocked and got out of his car to see if the old boy was okay. The man just picked him self off the ground shouted at no one in particular “I’ve got to get to the bus station” and stormed off up Buchanan Street. The driver was just bewildered.

The second incident, and the one to spark off this blog entry, was today on my way home from work. A taxi was travelling down Argyle Street and some guy decides that the best time to cross the street was right now before the taxi passed. The driver hit the brakes and the guy jumped back a bit. The taxi stopped just centimetres away from the pedestrian.

Then the pedestrian did the oddest thing. He placed both palms on the bonnet of the taxi and jumped into the air to the other side of the taxi while making a Michael Jackson-like “Ooww!!” sounds. Then he danced back into the path of the taxi, looked at the driver and said “Ya weeeeeee jobbaaeeeee”


  1. Ron says:

    Colin, as a Royal High FP, you must know better than that! Pedester isn’t a pedestrian – you probably meant pedes?

  2. I knew someone would have picked me up on my latin.

  3. The second one sound very like a train spotting scene, was iggy pop playing loudly in the back ground.

  4. The bit where he’s running down Princes Street in Edinburgh, rounds the corner into Leith Street and slides over the bonnet of a taxi that’s had to come to an abrupt halt?No, Iggy Pop was not playing in the background. Although it is now playing in my head.

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