Forum Signatures II

It sometimes amazes me the things people put in forum signatures. Sometimes they distill knowledge in to a short pithy phrase, other times they are just humorous and occasionally they are just plain bizarre.

Here are a collection of some signatures that I’ve spotted recently:

Re-quoted forum posts

“The clue train passed his station without stopping.” – John Simmons / outlaw programmer

It’s the “give it to me” attitude that I get really irritated with

“Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks” – Pete O’Hanlon

We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family – some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody’s psychotic joint venture definition of Code Project

Otherwise [Microsoft is] toast in the long term no matter how much money they’ve got. They would be already if the Linux community didn’t have it’s head so firmly up it’s own command line buffer that it looks like taking 15 years to find the desktop.

“I controlled my laughter and simple said “No,I am very busy,so I can’t write any code for you”. The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible.”
– Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

Geeky

Deja View – the feeling that you’ve seen this post before.

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.” – Rick Cook

God is Real, unless declared Integer.

I still remember having to write your own code in FORTRAN rather than be a cut and paste merchant being pampered by colour coded Intellisense – ahh proper programming – those were the days

SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0
0 rows returned

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. –-Lazarus Long

Software Zen: delete this;

Quotes

“On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn’t. I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher – not lower – than -8 but I’m not having it.” -Tina Farrell, a 23 year old thicky from Levenshulme, Manchester.

“There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth” ~ unknown

“There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.” Ali ibn Abi Talib

A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn’t see the clouds at all – he’s walking on them. –Leonard Louis Levinson

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. – Albert Einstein

“You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” –Zig Ziglar

“…when two opposite points of view are expressed with equal intensity, the truth does not necessarily lie exactly halfway between them. It is possible for one side to be simply wrong.” – Richard Dawkins

“If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler.” — Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.

Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning. — Bill Gates (13 January 1997)

Unknown Origin

“mostly watching the human race is like watching dogs watch tv … they see the pictures move but the meaning escapes them”

Where are we going? And why am I in this handbasket?

You always pass failure on the way to success.

Humorous

I saw a wino eating grapes. I said,”Dude, you have to wait.” Mitch Hedberg